When Dynamics Show Up.
This page is here to help you notice how certain dynamics might be playing out - not in fixed categories but in day-day ways we relate, respond, and cope.
You might recognise yourself in more that one. Or find that some parts feel clearer than others. That's ok - the point isn't to define you, but to help you start noticing what's familiar, and what might be ready to shift.
If you'd like support making sense of what you recognise here, there are two ways to take things further
For 1:1 Support, you can book a 30-minute 'get to know' session with me to explore how mentoring could help you move forward.
For ongoing insight and shared guidance, you can join the 1LifeClub - a space to connect with others and gain practical tools for personal growth.
Craving Reassurance
Feelings
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Do you feel uneasy or restless when someone takes too long to reply to your messages?
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Do you sometimes worry that people don't care as much as you do, even when they say they do?
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Do you feel panicked or rejected when your partner, friends or family member seems distant?
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Do you feel emotionally exhausted from overthinking how someone feels about you?
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Do you struggle to relax in relationships, constantly wondering if the other person will leave you?
Thoughts
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Do you wonder if people actually like you, even when they tell you they do?
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Do you overthink what you said in a conversation, worrying you may have upset someone?
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Do you believe that if someone really loved you, they would always prioritise you?
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Do you sometimes feel that love should feel certain and constant, not unpredictable?
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Do you worry about how much someone values you, even when the relationship is going well?
Emotions
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Do you feel relief when someone reassures you, but then worry again soon after?
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Do you experience highs and lows in relationships, feeling deeply connected one moment and insecure the next?
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Do you feel hurt if someone cancels plans, even if they are a valid reason?
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Do you sometimes feel like you care more than the other person, and it makes you anxious?
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Do you get a tight feeling in your chest or stomach when you think someone is upset with you?
Actions (Behaviour Patterns)
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Do you double-text or over-explain yourself when someone doesn't reply right away?
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Do you seek reassurance frequently, asking questions like "Are you mad at me?" or "Do you still love me?"
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Do you check social media to see if someone has liked your posts, viewed your stories, or is online, as a way to gauge their mood or interest? or read into small details trying to figure out how someone feels?
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Do you sometimes cling to relationships, even when you know they aren't good for you?
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Do you change your plans or prioritise to match someone else's, just to keep them close?
Needing Distance
Feelings
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Do you feel uncomfortable when someone wants to talk about emotions, even if you care about them?
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Do you sometimes feel trapped in relationships, needing space but not knowing how to ask for it?
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Do you feel stressed when someone relies in your for emotional support?
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Do you enjoy your independence, but sometimes feel lonely or disconnected?
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Do you feel relieved when plans get cancelled, even if you like the person?
Thoughts
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Do you believe its safer to keep people at a distance, so you don't get hurt?
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So you sometimes think relationships take too much energy and prefer focusing on yourself?
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Do you hesitate to open up because you worry others might not understand or might judge you?
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Do you think most people are too emotional, and you don't relate to that?
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Do you believe you don't really need relationships, even though deep down, you want connection
Emotions
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Do you feel overwhelmed when people expect emotional closeness from you?
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Do you sometimes experience frustration or irritation when someone asks how you feel?
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Do you feel guilty when you pull away from people, but struggle to open up?
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Do you feel drained by emotional conversations, preferring to keep things light?
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Do you sometimes feel numb or detached in relationships, even when you care?
Actions (Behaviour Patterns)
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Do you pull away when someone gets upset or asks for more closeness?
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Do you shut down in arguments, choosing to avoid conflict rather than talk it through?
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Do you focus on work, hobbies, or distractions instead of dealing with emotional situations?
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Do you leave messages unread or take too long to reply, even when you want to talk?
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Do you keep conversations surface-Level, avoiding deep and personal topics?
When Things Feel Grounded
The 1LifeForMe mentoring programme provides personalised support to help you create real change in your life. The 1LifeClub offers ongoing insights and community connection. You don't need to start here - but this is what you can work towards.
Feelings:
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“I am worthy of love and respect.”
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“It’s safe to be emotionally open and vulnerable with others.”
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“I trust that my needs will be met in healthy relationships.”
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“Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and support.”
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“I can handle conflict in relationships and work through challenges with open communication.”
Thoughts:
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“I feel confident in who I am, and I trust my partner to do the same.”
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“When conflict arises, I’ll approach it calmly and with a desire to understand the other person’s perspective.”
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“I believe I can ask for help when I need it, and I am okay with receiving support from others.”
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“I don’t fear abandonment, but I understand the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries.”
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“My relationships are a source of growth and mutual support.”
Emotions:
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Security: Feelings of comfort, safety, and trust in relationships.
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Calmness: Emotional stability, even during moments of disagreement or challenge.
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Contentment: Feeling fulfilled and satisfied in the relationship, with a sense of emotional connection.
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Confidence: A deep sense of self-assurance and the belief that their emotional needs are being met.
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Empathy: The ability to connect emotionally with others, understanding their feelings without feeling overwhelmed.
Actions (Behavioural Patterns):
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Open Communication: Actively expressing needs, desires, and concerns in a clear, respectful way without fear of rejection.
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Emotional Availability: Being emotionally present for their partner, showing empathy, and offering support.
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Conflict Resolution: Addressing issues directly and calmly, seeking compromise and understanding rather than avoiding or escalating conflict.
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Healthy Boundaries: Setting and respecting boundaries, both for themselves and their partner, to maintain balance and mutual respect.
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Mutual Support: Providing and receiving support, whether it’s emotional, practical, or psychological, with the belief that both partners can rely on each other.
Caught in the Middle
Feelings
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Do you feel anxious when someone you care about gets too close, but also uneasy when they seem distant
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Do you sometimes push people away, even when you don't want to, and later regret it?
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Do you feel drained by relationships because you are constantly second-guessing what the other person is thinking?
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Do you feel on edge when someone asks how you feel, unsure whether to open up or shut down?
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Do you sometimes feel relieved when plans get cancelled because socialising feels overwhelming, even though you don't want to be alone?
Thoughts
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Do you wonder if people will eventually let you down, even when they've given you no reason to doubt them?
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Do you sometimes think its safer to keep your distance, even with people you care about?
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Do you catch yourself reading too much into texts or messages, worrying about what they really mean?
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Do you think you're too much for people, worrying wont stick around if they knew the real you?
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Do you sometimes convince yourself you're better off alone, even when deep down, you want connection?
Emotions
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Do you experience highs and lows in relationships, feeling deeply connected one moment and distant the next?
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Do you get flooded with emotions when someone disappoints you, even in small ways?
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Do you sometimes feel like you cant trust your own emotions, switching between wanting closeness and needing space?
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Do you feel hurt when people don't check in on you, but also find it hard to ask for support?
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Do you experience guilt after an argument, even if you were the one who pulled away?
Actions (Behaviour Patterns)
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Do you ignore messages or delay replying even when you want to talk to someone?
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Do you suddenly feel irritated or overwhelmed when someone tries to get close to you?
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Do you shut down during arguments instead of explaining how you feel?
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Do you sometimes pull away from people after opening up, feeling exposed or uncomfortable?
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Do you check people's behaviour for signs they might leave you, even when there's no real reason to worry?